A continuation of the front...

It's finally Thursday of this week which has seemed endless. After tomorrow I won't be back to work until January 2nd...which at this point seems REALLY far away. I know that once it gets here, my Christmas vacation will have seemed super-short. I suppose I'll just have to be thankful for each of my 11 days off and realize I'm not at work each and every day.

This has been a really tough week (actually 2 weeks). I don't know what's been going on with me, but I am at the point where I literally don't know that I can continue subjecting myself to this type of work each and every day. To the average person who knows what I do, I'm sure it's easy to say "It can't be that bad," but it is...for me anyway. Having done it for the past 25 months of my life I'm at the end of my rope...seriously. I've got to get out of this environment with a quickness.

At this point it's a matter of finding something else and having the guts to leave no matter how random it may seem to my boss. I'm just exhausted by my work life (which has affected my health, which affects my time away from work) and that's not a good feeling. I want to return to being my old self who had no clue there were people out there working in this type of office talking to the general public who I have learned are all complete and total racist, ignorant, hateful, rude, mean, greedy, lying, spiteful, harassing "humans." It's sad to know what people are really like and really capable of. It makes me want to change them, but I know I can't and that's frustrating.

I want to do something in life that makes me happy by possibly helping others or at least making them happy for a moment. I want to create and bake beautiful breads, cakes and confections - something that NEVER makes anyone frown!! Something people are happy to be a part of and appreciate. Who doesn't appreciate and extra-good slice of cake, or a warm-from-the-oven oversized-cookie or loaf of homemade bread? If baking isn't in my future and I actually make use of the Paralegal certificate I'm working on, then I want to work in an area of law that makes people happy or at least an area in which my help can relieve them of some stress.

I just can't continue being one of 5 punching bags in this office. I am astounded each and every day by the NERVE of the general public. I don't know who raised these fools, but I can guarantee you that THEY are also calling us. It's amazing how many people start off by saying "I am a Christian and I go to church every week" and in their next breath they say "and I'm sick and tired of these 'illegal Mexicans' taking all our health care, food stamps, etc, etc, etc." WOW. Get your facts straight first, and then reconsider telling a stranger you're a Christian if you're only going to turn around and be as un-Christian-like as possible. It's crystal clear to me that people are using the immigration issue as an outlet for their extreme hatred and racism only to pretend they care about a political issue.

It's 8:46am - I just got to work 15 mins ago and these are the thoughts in my mind. Sad.


Little Tiny Poppy

We've had an eventful weekend to say the least. Poppy arrived on Friday and Seth and I had both taken the day off to pick her up and introduce her into our lives. I don't want to go on and on about her here since the end of the story is that we sent Poppy back to the breeder yesterday.

Poppy is a wonderful and beautiful little puppy, who I grew to love in the few short days we had her. I think Seth and I both realized, for reasons I don't care to try to explain, that at this time in our lives Poppy wasn't the best, most thought-through idea we've ever had. It's something I don't think we could've realized any other way but to have her here and experience life with 2 dogs. Unfortunately, that mostly ends up being tough on the dog, although I have to think she handled it better than I did.

Miss Poppy was sweet and adorable and seemed to be becoming a good buddy for Three, but we realized that our life was stable at the moment and we were happy and content being Seth, Kelley and Three. Three is the doggie love of my life and for more reasons than I can list, we felt it was best for us and Poppy to send her back to her mommy who could find her a home like we were able to give Three.

We took her to the airport yesterday after a hectic morning getting her checked at the vet and I couldn't even stay in the cargo room until she left. I kissed her, snuggled her and put her in the crate and had to excuse myself to the car. I cried like a baby and like I haven't done in years. I cried outloud from the extreme pain of my broken heart. I can't even describe it - this pain and grief was different than anything I'd ever experienced before. We had hoped to send her home earlier to avoid as much attachment to her, but she was probably with us a day too long.

Poppy arrived home late last night and the breeder called to assure us she was safe and glad to be out of her crate. The breeder has been absolutely wonderful, reassuring, comforting and understanding. She gave us Three so she must raise wonderful puppies! I hope she'll update us on little tiny Poppy so we'll know she's doing well in her new home. She even said she'll probably keep her name, "Poppy," since she liked it so much.

Here are the few pics we took during our weekend with Poppy.


All Done

I've officially survived one semester of the Paralegal program. Last night was the last class of the semester and I couldn't be happier. I still have one more paper to turn in before midnight on Friday, but I should be able to finish it up tonight easily. All 3 classes this week have been super-short since all I've done is shown up and either taken a test or turned one in. I don't think I was in class past 6:30 on any of the 3 nights which was really nice.

I know my "semester break" will FLY by, but for now, I'm just looking forward to having some time when I have no homework, no reading, no classes and I can ride to work with Seth everyday of the week! I thought the program would be one of those things that when I got to the end I'd look back and say, "Man, that flew by!" but it really has not felt like that. I've struggled through lots of days just to get to the "end" of something and each of those times it's felt like an eternity before I got to the actual end. Unfortunately, that only makes me dread starting the 2nd semester.

Next semester starts on January 8th and we'll be getting into our specialties. I've got to turn in my choice of specialty next week and I'm even struggling with that. My first instinct is real estate but part of me thinks I should do business organizations and try to get into IP Law. I don't know. Luckily, none of them locks you into being able to work in one specific field so no matter what I take I can still look at lots of different kinds of paralegal work.

I'm so torn about this career stuff. It's too bad I don't have the luxury to just stay home and do what I want, but then again, I'd probably pull my hair out from boredom! There's still a big part of me that wants to bake and make pretty things that are delicious. I want to wear a white chef's coat and make people smile. To be able to make something that's pretty and is ALSO yummy is just double the reward.

For now, let me just be satisfied that I made it through some of the toughest courses of the program and I'm still in one piece.


December 3, 2007

It's our 2nd wedding anniversary! Happy Anniversary to us!

Happy Anniversary to Christy & Jesse also, who got married on the exact same December 3rd as us! Also to my co-worker, Mary, who was married on December 3 as well (just not in 2005)! Yay for December 3rd anniversaries!