Is blogging really for me?

I've found it difficult to actually post entries on my blog. I don't know why, but I still struggle with my "interesting" factor. I think to myself, "It's been a while since you've blogged" and then I feel like I must come up with something to write. When I can't think of anything interesting to say, I just bail on my "responsibility."

That's stupid. Blogging isn't supposed to be a responsibility, and I didn't start blogging to please others. A lot of folks seems to use their blogs to show off their lives and (as I've blogged about before), a lot of blogs (I'm using that word a lot here) end up being false representations of lives. Lives that seem to be filled with only happiness and sheer joy. I call your bluffs today.

While I'm sure everyone out there has a thing or two to share that's happy and great, I'd sure love to read some entries that show a more real side of live every once in a while because I swear, that's more interesting than the predictable happy news people always love to share. It makes me sad to know that sometimes I don't write because I'm worried my readers will find me depressing because I don't have some wonderfully happy milestone moment to share. I am a real person, with real feelings and real issues in my life and I want to share them with the internet...and my readers. I don't know why I feel scared to do so. I often feel I must come up with something joyful to balance out the mood of my blog. Ugh. Don't get me wrong, though. I don't have a depressing life. I just go through things like every other human and want to share them. I find it more therapeutic to share the hard stuff than it is to share the happy stuff.

I wonder when I'm going to get comfortable with blogging and sharing my feelings to invisible readers. I don't know who is out there reading necessarily and I find that scary. I wonder if I'm cut out to be a blogger?

Nevertheless, here are a few updates on life as I know it:

1. I've been put on yet another prescription medication. This time by my endocrinologist. I'm taking metformin which is a drug often prescribed to folks with type 2 diabetes. My dear mother has found it necessary to tell everyone she knows about this and finds it equally necessary to scare me with the fact that having insulin-resistance is just a hair's breadth from having type 2 diabetes and tells me it's imperative that I change my diet. You know, had I know this was what was wrong with me back when I asked my doctor for a referral to an endocrinologist, I wouldn't be so bad off and I may could've saved myself 20 or so pounds. Oh well, here I am. This drug is supposed to possibly help me lose weight and suppress my cravings for carbs. Hmm. I've been on it for a couple of weeks and don't feel the difference. I'm sure it just takes time to get into your system.

2. I have been painting again! I finally put some paint on a wall in one of our upstairs rooms. It's looking great. Walls are done and I'm not in the process of refinishing all of my grandmother's bedroom furniture. I'm painting it a gloss black and it's looking nice! I have no pics yet, but will update soon when the room starts coming together. Right now, it's all over the place - some on the deck, some in the loft, and it's not even close to being a useable room. I think it'll look great when it's done and will probably be the most finished room in the house.

3. Some sad news. Our BFFs George and Leigh are moving....TO FREAKIN' TAMPA, FLORIDA. Sad doesn't really cover it, but I'm slowing getting over it. George interviewed for a job with Leigh's brother's company (I think) and was offered the job. The NCGA couldn't match their offer so they are off to Florida. Since Seth works with G he sees him everyday, but prior to that, we didn't see them that much, but we did get together every so often and I looked forward to that. I'm the first to admit I have basically no friends in Raleigh. I don't have a job and don't have a way to meet people, plus - am very bad at it. I guess I won't miss seeing them as much as I will miss knowing they are in the same town and getting together won't be as easy. HOWEVER, I'm warming up to the idea that we'll have a great vacation destination whenever we feel like getting out of town! G&L - just go ahead and paint our names on the walls in your spare bedroom! :) What will we do without these idiots in our breathing space??



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