This post is off the topic of home decor. Know it. Love it. Keep reading.
Let me give you a tad bit of background before I tell about my new adventure. Seth and I have been going to church together since very early in our relationship. We go to the same church as my in-laws because that's where Seth was going when we met, and well, you know, it's just hard to find a new church. We've mostly been regular attenders to the usual 11am service, but have never delved into Sunday School or any outside activities, except Seth playing on the church softball team.
This has left us not really knowing any of our fellow church-goers or having any way to get to know them. We have started feeling like it's just too late to try. Recently, though, a nice girl who usually sits in front of us up and introduced herself to us and has continued to say hi each week. This past Sunday, she invited me to a women's Bible study that meets each Tuesday night. This was my chance! I stressed over it and wanted to go, but was scared at the same time. I didn't know who would be there, how many, how long it lasted, what I could contribute, and I didn't yet have the book. I ALMOST chickened out. I came so close. But my husband's disappointment and clear deflation at my not going gave me a second boost and I just went. I got in my car with my Bible and went. And it was fiiiiiine.
While I was new to the group, there were only 7 others there not including me. The group was lead by the pastor's wife. Our pastor is young and fun and only a couple years older than me and Seth. I feel lucky that's the case, because the seem accessible and Seth and I need that. She was welcoming and not intimidating and while I felt the natural feeling of not being one of the group, by the end of the night, I felt the slightest bit more included. I even shared! And it was relevant! YAY ME!
If you know me, you know I'm not one to be all chatty Cathy around a complete group of strangers. I'm more of a listener until I get to know you and get to feeling more comfortable. But I shared because I felt God pushing me to do so. Just like I felt Him pushing me to go to Bible study. I've been in need of some friends other than those at work and at home (Seth and Three) and I hope that this will be the push I needed to start meeting new people at the church we've been "using" for all these years.
I was just so proud of myself for going, and being OK, and talking, and feeling. I hope throughout the coming weeks that things just get better and that I feel like opening up and learning to be a more confident Christian and a more involved regular attender of the church. We need this. I need this.